Becoming the Center of the Universe

This begins my humble attempts to write about my mother’s drawings. I must disclose that my initial drafts were all about me, my perspectives, my thoughts…and really it was all I could do to keep from tearing my teeth out from the wretched boredom this generated.So then, I tried writing from what I imagined must have been Elizabeth’s intent, and while conjecture is often self-satisfying, my interpretation would most likely cause her spirit to dismiss me with an imperial wave of the hand. Off with her head, and all that.

But what about the profoundness of the human qualities we have in common? What of those disturbing secrets we all keep? How can we possibly share the taboo flights of thought that we quash faster than our eyes can give away? Our religious questions, acquired fears, dark jealousies, selfish desires? Aren’t those the pieces of our souls that are really driving us through life? These things we hide from others, and yet they are what define us as alive.

These are the topics my mother and I would discuss, even at a very young age. And you can find some of the answers in her drawings if you allow yourself. Not answers about her or me, but yourself. Is it okay to be selfish with your time? Will you burn in hell for questioning a higher power you have never really connected with? Will everyone hate you if you are proudly the center of the universe?

Consider the times in your life when you were the most happy. I don’t mean contentedness. I mean crazy with elation, adrenaline-soaked joy. Is that time right now? Probably not if you’re reading this blog. Instead you will think of moments in your life, or even an era with lots of those moments condensed. So, how do you recreate similarly euphoric events without trying to revive the past and its associated demons? What is the common denominator that guarantees future manifestations of said happiness?

I propose that it is you and only you that is constant in your happiness.Coming to a brutally honest understanding of what truly makes you tick, embracing both the light and dark within you, seems to be the first step in creating supreme contentment.  Think about it. It’s your damn universe. Make yourself happy.

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